Sunday 10 October 2021

Monster Menu-All: Mothership Edition

 

Obviously inspired by Skerples posts. Hopefully this will help if you ever find yourself in a situation where your players are demanding you let them eat the alien horror. Or if you want some random flavours for street food on distant worlds.


Normal Alien Meat 
For when you've killed something strange and decided to eat it, and it just so happens to have compatible biochemistry. 
Roll on the table below for how edible your meal is. Proper hygiene, cooking it well, a successful gastronomy roll etc. give +1. 
  
1d10
1-2           Disgusting. Body Save or suffer from food poisoning for 1d10 hours. Gain 1 stress
3-9           Adequate. No special effect.
10            A culinary sensation. Advantage to heal if you are resting, and relieve 1 stress.  
 
Obviously this only applies to compatible biologies. Dont try to eat silicon- or ammonia-based lifeforms.
 
For taste and texture, roll twice, or just once and read across horizontally. You can also use this for any foods you find on frontier colonies, strange street stalls, dubious fast food shops, etc.

1d25            Texture                                                 Flavour                                                    

1                  Crunchy                                                 Salmon     
2                  Squelchy                                                Beef 
3                  Crusty                                                    Pork 
4                  Stringy                                                   Gammon    
5                  Fatty                                                       Escargot 
6                  Buttery                                                   Chicken 
7                  Lean                                                       Clams 
8                 Tough                                                     Jackfruit 
9                 Oily                                                        Grass 
10               Flaky                                                      Pineapple 
11               Spongy                                                   Mutton 
12               Gelatinous                                              Crickets 
13               Gristly                                                    Vinegar 
14               Rubbery                                                  Tofu  
15               Juicy                                                       Soy Sauce 
16               Oozing                                                    Brown Sugar 
17               Coarse                                                     Abestos 
18               Sinewy                                                    Drywall 
19               Supple                                                     Yoghurt 
20               Oddly Familiar                                       Your mothers cooking 
21               Dense                                                      Metallic 
22               Caustic                                                    Vaguely Chemical 
23               Papery                                                     Squid/octopus 
24               Tooth-breakingly hard                            Ashes 
25               Irregular (roll twice)                               Weird (roll twice)
 
Actual Monsters  
If your players try to eat these then idk what to tell you.
 
 
Alpha Gaunt
Taste: Rubber soaked in acid, pure ethanol and petrol. Meat hums unpleasently and writhes in the corner of your vision. And your mouth.
Chefs tip: Exposing the meat to a Jump Drive for a month gives a +1 to the roll.
 
1           Hyperspace Intrusion: Your body warps into a Dead Gate. Crawlers, death worms and worse pour  through. Good luck.
2-4      Wormspawn: Parasitised cells hijack your body. Once a day, 1d10 Death Worms emerge from your mouth. You take 1d10 stress, 2d10 damage and must save or Panic, nearby PCs must make a Fear save or take 1d5 stress.
5-8      Shrivelled: Your skin pulls tight, turns grey and leathery. -10 to speed and body save. Take a sanity save each day or suffer a compulsion to sculpt.
9         Gaunt Hunger: As Shrivelled but gain the need to subsist on raw flesh, industrial chemicals, alcohol and fuel. 
10       Gaunt Apotheosis: Gain the Telekinetic Drain attack. Gaunt creatures will treat you as an ally. +15 to Speed and Combat. Your fingers can elongate to long, molecular-thin claws. Whenever you travel by Jump drive, there is a 40% chance the ship will be becalmed in orbit of the Dead Planet.
 
Ypsilon 14 Specter
Taste: Gristly, oily and stringy, strange tingly feeling. The meat of a predator. After hibernation, it is starving- there won't be enough meat for everyone. Wash thoroughly before the meal, wear protective clothing.
Chefs tip: If cooked, its Normal Alien meat. If consumed raw, roll on the table below. 
 
1        Goo'd: You didn't clean it properly! You die slowly over the next day or so, dissolving into yellow goop.
2-8    Consumption: Parts of your insides are dissolved. You don't die, but you will need serious medical care for the rest of your life. Body Save halved.
9        Hibernation: On the point of death, you can create a cocoon of yellow goop that will heal you (once). Doing so takes all the energy you possess, and you will emerge starving and with permenantly halved HP.
10      Predation: Alien healing agents remake your body. As Hibernation, but you also gain a chameleonic skin and become an obligate carnivore.


Blue Comet
You can't eat stone . If you manage to chip a piece from the comet and swallow it without looking, roll on the table below.

1        Blue Cancer: You die an extremely painful and visually interesting death, as blue tumours erupt across your body and eat you alive.
2-9    Obsession: You become terminally obsessed with the Blue Comet (see Moonbase Blues)
10      Sapphire Majesty: You can move in zero-G as easy as swimming. Your eyes and mouth emit blinding beams of Blue Comet light. Comet cultists worship you. 


Deep Androids
Taste: Pale imitation of pork, foul chemical aftertaste. 
Chefs tip: Synthflesh tends to melt like plastic when cooked and release toxic fumes. For best results consume raw.

1       Imitator: That's not an android, thats a human. +1d10 Stress and Bends
2-4    Connection: MONARCH scans your body as the meal moves through you. The brainscan it takes it bizarre- obsessed with food and the act of consumption.
5-7    Infiltrator: You consumed an infiltration Android. +1d10 Bends as the knowledge of its mission washes over you. Memories not your own fill your dreams. 1/day, change your face to someone elses.
8-9    Soul Eater: Gain the ability to consume brainscans. Doing so allows you to recall their memories perfectly, but take 1 stress when doing so. Androids and AIs regard you with hostility and suspiscion. 
10     Deepmind: As Soul Eater but gain no stress. Your appetite extends to human minds too, which you can consume straight from the brain. You can sense sapient beings at a range of 20 meters.

Sunday 3 October 2021

5 Hyperspace Intrusions

When your a guardsman on your way to defend a planet, but the gellar field  fails - 9GAG

Dandyman wrote up a big list of reasons your ship is crawling with monsters when your gellar field  Caldwell Manifold hyperspace condom fails, so I did some rolling.


The following are cuttings from the banned text 'Field Guide to Caldwell Failures.' The book contained catalouged information on Hyperspace Intrusion Events, compiled from survivors stories, folklore, remains of events themselves and information stolen from top-level corporate sources. Author is unknown.

Cleaners
Trigger: Dirty vents and filters
Recorded Evidence:
  •  Low-quality footage from a handheld device. 
    • No sound. Depicts white hazard suits erupting from vents in a ships corridor. Suits are misshapen and lumpy, seals leak a brownish-red fluid. Chests are emblazoned with unknown symbol and blurred text. Footage lasts for 25 secounds before cutting.
  •  Audio sample, found in background noise of a cleaning supplies advert.
    • [Voice 1] (unintelligable)zipped him, they just unzipped him and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrub-
    • [Voice 2] Shhhhut up shut the fuck up stay quie-
 
Gunner Jenny
Trigger: Corpses
Recorded Evidence:
  • Childrens rhyme, recorded in Low Stacks, Bardistown Hive
    • Sergent Jenny, out in the black//Corpo stabbed them in the back//Bodys dust but Jennys not dead//Now her soul is fire and lead//So if your stiffs arnt passed along//Gunner Jennys not yet gone
  •  Mural daubed on hull of wrecked vessel. Depicts hunched corpse, head and hands replaced with many overlapping firearms. Skull hovers above, halo of red hair.
  • Collected shell casings, recovered from derelict vessel. Number in excess of 25,000,  each etched with text from standard NDA forms used by most mercenary corporations.

Scuttle.exe
Trigger: Accessing networks mid-jump
Recorded Evidence:
  •  Footage from a security camera, dining hall of a luxury cruiser.
    • Swarms of insects pour from wall console. Several passengers appear to be partly-consumed, with insects regurgitating consumed flesh into center of room to form a pentagonal hive structure.
  • 7-legged insect-like creature. Thorax pattern resembles human face. Dissection  revealed no internal organs, instead tangled masses of wire and human hair.


The Cables
Trigger: Android without voided warranty
Recorded Evidence:
  •  First-hand survivors account:
    • "First thing we knew was wrong was the android. Molly was workin the console when she just stopped and turned to face the wall. There was this scratching, scraping sound. Like rats. Then this...thing came right through the hull. Some kind of cable. Stabbed her straight in the head, started jerking her around like a puppet. 
She wouldnt stop laughing. 
  • Remains of a Supermashi/Kane General Purpose Series 3 android. Head casing pierced by length of black cable-like structure that has melded with the logic core. Core itself constantly weeps unknown fluid and has gained a sponge-like texture. Limbs missing, damage to sockets consistent with models own teeth.


Argument Tiger
Trigger: Grudges
Recorded Evidence:
  •  Video captured by SBD bodycam.
    • Two marines, A and B, argue in what appears to be a troopship training area. Three minutes in, a creature resembling an adult male bengal tiger emerges from marine A's mouth and proceeds to maul and partly consume marine B. Marine A collapses,vomiting orange fur.